Summer has gone by so fast; the year is already half gone and so many things have fallen along the wayside. This time a year ago, I was consumed with plans of moving myself and my daughter mainly out of the city to a quieter, safer, more secluded place. I did it, but it all happened so fast and the transition was quite rough, still is. I feel like a hang nail. As parents we most often place ourselves last, especially mothers. So yup, I feel like a hang nail, worn, raggedly and a bit sore. The stress and general self neglect not only keeps me awake when I should be sleep but has resulted in at least 15 extra pounds, too much for my already weighted framed. At times like these, all I can think of is comfort, finding a place to rest and take care of myself. The photo above seems just right, cozy, comfy and with just enough light.

www.inspiredbybeatriceclay.com/blog

I still have some formatting issues to work out with CSS but all the words can be read and the pictures can be seen (except my banner) SO COME ON OVER

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oh before i forget, *****news flash****  i am migrating this here little blog to a more permanent site so stay tuned and if you know any good web designers please let me know. i need a simple opening page designed. thanks.

a few shots from my solo vacation to san juan puerto this past week - top two rows are polaroids and bottom row is digital

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EAOC SUMMER MADNESS TREASURE HUNT June 18 – June 21st. The Summer Madness Treasure Hunt will take place in the Etsy Promotions Forum beginning Thursday, June 18th and ending Sunday, June 21st. Each day the EAOC Summer Madness Treasure Hunt will begin at 12 noon and run until 12 midnight, EDT. The rules are simple. Just search through the participating shops and find special letters that have been hidden in various listings. The letters will be hidden amongst one of the listing’s photos. Take those letters and form a phrase pertaining to the “Summer”. The phrase will change each day. It’s that simple! Starting June 18th, check any of these sites for the phrase of the day:

* http://eaoc.blogspot.com/

* http://twitter.com/eaoc

* http://www.myspace.com/teameaoc

* http://groups.to/etsyartistsofcolor

* http://teameaoc.etsy.com.

Check back daily, you might find a letter at inspired by Beatrice Clay!!!

Come join in the fun and win fabulous prizes including three of my fine art prints – Orange Crush, Pink, and On Beauty. View prints in my Etsy shop:

www.beatriceclay.etsy.com

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I snapped these with “Billie”  my new polaroid baby.  I really wish I could zoom in a little with this polaroid camera but oh well the slight out of focus blur adds to the charm of polaroids.  the one on the left is already someone’s flickr favorite. {YAY}  I love holding polaroids in my hands too!  I want to have a huge stack of them – the magical ones and the not so magical ones – that I can peruse at my leisure as well as share with house guests. 

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I recently started dreaming about polaroids.  I began asking my flikr buddies where I could score one and the answer was invariably “Ebay.”  I searched the site for a while before deciding to put my polaroid dreams on hold for the moment and just focus on learning how to use Trixie (my 35 mm pentax k1000 film camera) and Rho (my kickbutt pentax k20d DSLR).  Well my friends, the heavens smiled on me and I happened upon a little yard sale on the upper west side of Manhattan and scored a sweet Polaroid Sun 600 land camera for OMG $10 bucks.  As with Trixie and Rho, with my new polaroid baby Billie I fall way short in taking consistently sharp stunning photos.  So far, I have 5 really blurry polaroid photos or better still 5 really blurry really expensive $2 a ‘roid photos.  Film is seriously $20 for a pack of 10 exposures {*gasp*} With lots of practice, I hope to be taking photographs as stunning as Susannah Conway, Alicia Brock, and Jen Gotch! These woman are amazing and they take amazing polaroids.  

Please stop by my little Etsy shop and partner with me in buying more 600 series polaroid film before all the polaroid film in the world is completely gone forever. Pretty pretty please.

Here are a few of my favorites polaroids taken by Susannah (1-4), Jen  (5-7), and Alicia (8-9)

aaah dreamy polaroids.

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I walked out of the Dept. of Motor Vehicles (DMV) yesterday in tears.  Me, a grown 29 year old woman, walking down the street in distress with tears streaming down my eyes, feeling completely disappointed that somehow my plans were ruined.  All because, I couldn’t see the letters on the stupid chart so they wouldn’t give me back my driving permit.  I was mad and hurt at the same time.  It wasn’t my fault I couldn’t see the letters, my optic nerves sometimes swell causing my vision to become a bit blurry.  Nothing too serious, I can still see.  I am not going to run over a kid or anything.  I was still so disappointed. I walked to the middle of the block and abruptly stopped, wiped my eyes clean, muttered to myself “no, I’ve come to far to let some DMV lady tell me I can’t have back my driving permit.” I marched right back into the DMV to see what could be done.  While I waited on line again, I thought about my recent decision to get a car.  Most New Yorkers don’t own cars; we just rent them when we need to go somewhere.  Parking in some neighborhoods is really bad and the insurance is outrageous, especially for new drivers.  Despite all this, I want a car.  My neighborhood has lots of safe parking and I don’t mind the insurance – you gotta start somewhere. This year especially has been all about living a free life, one where I can pick up and go where and when I want to, learn the things that I want to learn, and experience the things I want to experience.  I’ve been working hard for so long and this year well I have reprioritized my life and put the things that matter most at the top of the list.  Having a couple brains surgeries earlier this year and being out of work on medical leave for a couple months help me realize that.  Having a car right now is important.  I want to be able to leave the City on the weekends with my beautiful daughter in tow and just go exploring, especially treasure hunting at estate sales and flea markets – pure bliss.

Nope, I wasn’t going to let the DMV lady at window 7 ruin that.  I marched right back in there and said to her I don’t have my glasses today can I come back tomorrow and take the eye test.  She said sure, “we can hold you test for two days.” 

I prayed all night that my vision would clear up.  My contacts weren’t helping and I wasn’t quite sure my glasses (affectionately known as my red coke bottles – the lenses are still super thick…and they are the extra expensive “thin” ones) would either.  I just knew it would work out.

I got back to the DMV this morning and thank goodness I was assigned to another DMV lady – lady at window 3 – whose eye chart was closer to counter than yesterday’s chart.  I PASSED!  YAY! I GOT MY PERMIT BACK.  While today’s DMV lady was processing my ID she asked me did I recently surrender my permit.  I said “yeeeesss.”  She said, “oh you didn’t need to retake the written and eye exams.  You just needed to ask for your permit back.”  My mouth dropped, “WHAT?”  I asked.  She said, “Don’t sweat it things like this happen for a reason, everything happens for a reason.”  I said, yeah you’re right.

All in all I am glad things worked out the way they did. It just solidified for me that I am on the right track to living the free life I envision.  I cried over it and was willing to wipe my tears away, square my shoulders, and get what’s important to me.  Nothing, nothing I tell you will hold up my freedom plans.  My life is way too important.  

Next stop tonight – the neighborhood driving school. 

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at the beginning of the year me and one of my crafty colleagues, M., went to Pearl Paint to buy some mini linoleum blocks and cutting tools.  it took me several months but i finally cut into my little lino block and boy did it bring back memories of high school.  i am not sure what this little creation is but when i carved it i was thinking of how horrible of an adolescence my daughter seems to be having and how much supports she has but seemingly doesn’t want.  parenting is difficult; some days are full of joy and most nights are full of tears.  making art of any kind keeps me in peace and reminds me of the incredible gift God has given me (us all) – the gift to create, to make our situations be exactly what we need them to be. in the moment of making this tiny lino block i created a visual representation of my commitment to be the best parent that i can be – holding up my little one no matter what.  

of course, it’s now 11:15 pm on a school night and my teenager isn’t home, and yes i want to break her neck, but thank God for art and linoleum.

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my daughter took a peek at my second painting this morning and commented that she loved it. yay. not that acceptance is important but i had to fight the critic in my head (let’s call him baddy) that kept telling me I had no idea how to mix oil paints.  i promptly put baddy in his place and finished my painting. just to let him know that i mean business with my portfolio project i completed two sketches for my next two paintings. take that baddy!!

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